Being Glued To Your Phone Is A Clue You’re Cheating

So get them used to it first

Photo by Glen Anthony on Unsplash

Changes to Phone Use Habits

Everyone has a phone and uses it in their way. Don’t be fooled — your spouse knows exactly what you do with yours. While meeting your affair partner will be tough; communicating with them is easy. You can do it while sitting with your spouse in a restaurant or while you’re helping your kid with their homework. If you are the sort who always has the phone glued to your hand, you can get away with it.

Increasing Activity

If you aren’t glued to your phone before you start cheating, she’ll notice you checking your phone every seven seconds.

If your alerts are on, it’ll start chirping like a flock of seagulls. It will vibrate off the table with the horniness.

And your spouse will notice.

They know how often your phone buzzes and will hear the change, even if they don’t see you drooling over the screen.

She’ll also notice your fingers flying over the keyboard — if that’s new. They’ll definitely notice you whispering into the phone or going into the other room to take a call.

Changing Your Habits

A sudden change in your phone use will raise questions you won’t be able to answer.

But, you’ll need to mask your sexting if it gets intense, so you’ll have to slowly adjust for it — before you cheat.

If you’re not a heavy phone user and think of having an affair (men, I’m talking to you), slowly increase your use by playing games like Words With Friends, where you need to move your fingers. Join a Facebook group for something you like and actively participate in it. Join Quora or Reddit and start answering questions in your field.

And do it where she can see you.

She’ll ask you about what you’re doing, and these are all great reasons to have your phone in hand without raising questions.

Make Her Hate You

Pick groups you know she’ll hate so she isn’t tempted to join in the fun and start liking all your posts. If she asks what you’re doing , say you’re on the group she hates when you’re chatting with your lover.

Be sure to post or comment regularly on those sites too. Talk about what you’re reading and posting to acclimatize your spouse to your extra usage. Say things like,

“OMG, this guy is such an idiot! You won’t believe his comment,” then read it to her.

“You’ll like this, listen….” And read it without asking if she’s interested.

“Here, look at this!” And make her look at an idiotic joke you know will either bore or revolt her.

Why? So she starts saying things like,

“I’m good, thanks.”

“No, thanks.”

“Will you fuck off with that?”

Regular participation in online gardening or car groups looks a lot like chatting with an affair partner. And chatting with an affair partner looks a lot like telling people on Quora they’re stupid.

Groups that share gender-specific jokes and humor are great for this because he won’t want to see girl jokes, and vice versa. Do this so if your affair partner makes you smile, chuckle, or laugh, and your spouse asks,

“What are you smiling at?”

You can say,

“This awesome joke from my group! Do you want to see it?”

“Does the joke involve a naked woman or a cock and balls?”

“Yes.”

“No, thanks.”

And That’s All It Takes

Any group your spouse hates will cause this reaction. Build up her dislike further by showing her jokes she doesn’t want to see, and trust me, she’ll lose interest.

Keep it up, and soon your spouse will not only lose interest in your new hobby, but she’ll get used to the increased activity.

And bingo! You’ll be able to cheat at the kitchen table.


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© Teresa J. Conway, 2020

By Teresa J Conway on .

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Exported from Medium on March 25, 2021.

Author of How to Cheat: Field Notes from an Adulteress, several short stories, I'm active on Medium @teresajconway where I sometimes share my blog posts, and I'm a fair-weather tweeter @tjconway69.

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