Like a dog, men need a pat on the head to feel worthwhile
If men can clean a toilet and do household chores to keep their women from cheating, what can women do? Emotional appreciation.
That’s right; your man might step out if he feels under-appreciated emotionally. Relationship expert LiYana Silver, says,
“To appreciate him means recognizing the full worth he brings to the table and openly expressing gratitude to him for his efforts and contributions.”
Reading her work is interesting in that it points out that we all could use a little appreciation, and when we get it, we react positively. That seems pretty obvious, doesn’t it? LiYana says that when men aren’t appreciated, their self-worth is affected, so they seek other partners who may appreciate them more.
Of course, she’s a relationship coach, so she mentions appreciation as a way women can focus on keeping their men happy. One assumes that a happy man is less likely to cheat, so there’s the advice. Keep him happy by puffing him up a bit and making him feel like less of a loser.
Start making regular deposits in his “emotional appreciation” bank account. Make a point of noticing and commenting on what your man does that’s good, right, delicious, fun, satisfying, pleasurable, humorous, or inspiring.
When men don’t hear these things, they are more likely to cheat because they look for someone else to appreciate them. I’m not going to go too deep here, but this sounds a lot like male fragility, which demands an ego stroke or boost to keep them in the game, and if they don’t get it, they go looking.
Enter the affair partner.
Cheating creates an artificial environment where time stops for a few hours so you can be someone else. She can be seductive, sultry, and wanton. He can be the take-charge man who knows exactly what he wants. In an affair, appreciation is shown with a mouth on a vulva or cock. It’s tangible and immediate. It feels good.
At home, appreciation is sometimes challenging to show when there’s been a lifetime of disappointments and things left undone. Those hurtful little jabs and other acts make it difficult to see past them and appreciate your spouse.
If hub isn’t feeling appreciated at home, he may go looking for it elsewhere. Or if you are hub, this may be why you went looking.
I am not a relationship coach, and if anything, I’d say I was an adultery consultant. I want people to be good at cheating, so it doesn’t ruin their lives. What that means is I’m not going to talk about how you fix this, but the link below has several useful resources you can check out.
From a cheating perspective, if you want to cover your tracks, you’ll become an appreciative spouse. You’ll thank him for what he does, ask for his advice, and praise him when he does housework. From a psychological point of view, when you increase your appreciation level, he will be less likely to suspect you’re cheating.
As crazy as it sounds, if you make your partner feel like they’re in a good relationship, they’ll be more trusting and less likely to ask questions.
And the fewer questions you get, the better!
PS — Is this what you were looking for Jeff Turner? I hope so! Merry Christmas 😉The Very Honest (And Human) Reason Why Men Cheat
Why Do Men Cheat? Is It Because They Are Bored In Their Relationship, Aren’t Getting Enough Sex From Their Wives, Or…www.yourtango.com
Join my email list — HERE and get a free pdf copy of my ebook —How to Cheat — Field Notes from an Adulteress
Why I wrote a book on cheating.medium.com
© Teresa J. Conway, 2020
By Teresa J Conway on .
Exported from Medium on April 8, 2021.