I Hid on the Floor of My Lover’s Car to Save My Ass

When my son walked past us in my lover’s car, I thought it was over

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

It was a typical end to a wonderful night that almost ended in disaster. Like other nights when he drives, we parked at the end of my street to drop me off. While chatting, I looked out the window and recognized my son’s jacket.

Without a second’s thought, I slid down in my seat and hid below the dash in a semi-fetal position. My lover panicked a little, so I told him just to act normal. My son doesn’t know him and has never seen his car, so wouldn’t think anything of it.

Complete anonymity is one advantage of cheating outside your family, social, and work circles. Just imagine if it had been someone my son recognized–

“Hey dad, I saw uncle Joe parked at the end of the street last night. I waved, but I don’t think he saw me.”

Try explaining that coincidence. Hub wouldn’t need to do too much sleuthing to figure it out.

As I hid on the passenger seat floor, my lover watched my son walk past. Once out of sight, I climbed up, a little shaken, but no worse for wear.

What the hell was I thinking?

I usually drive to our meeting spot, but that night I didn’t. We met in a busy public place a two-minute walk from our house, and from there we went to a hotel twenty minutes away.

On return, I was going to get out at the same spot we’d met and walk home. I’d changed my mind, and I’m glad I did.

I didn’t have a cover story for getting dropped off! How stupid was that? I assumed it would be ok, so ignored the risk and got lucky. If I’d gotten out of the car thirty seconds earlier, my son would have seen me, and I wouldn’t have an excuse.

Had my lover dropped me off where he picked me up, the parking lot would have been much less busy. That wouldn’t have been a problem, except it was the same parking lot my son walked through to get to the store. How would I explain getting out of a stranger’s car there? I couldn’t.

Why did I make this mistake?

Complacency. I’ve been cheating for a few years now, so my only guess is that I’ve become complacent. People who get away with things over time underestimate the risk and overestimate their skills. I’ve had a few close calls, but none as close as this. I failed to expect the unexpected and didn’t have a cover story prepared to take care of it.

What should my cover story have been?

I still haven’t figured out how to explain getting dropped off on our street, but I could do this:

Instead of getting out in the corner of the parking lot where my lover picked me up, I could get out by the drugstore. If my son saw me on my own or getting out of the car, I’d say I was picking something up. I could use the same excuse had we met up walking through the parking lot.

I couldn’t be empty-handed to make it work because how often could I say I went to the store, but they didn’t have what I wanted? Once a year?

First, I have to make going to the store at night part of my routine. That means I have to go over there occasionally to buy something that establishes my cover story.

There are only a few reasons to go to a store at night on my own, and I don’t smoke, so that leaves me junk food. I wouldn’t have to be obvious about it, but noticeable enough so I could point to the evidence as needed. A favorite candy bar wrapper or receipt left on the kitchen counter is all I’d need.

“Where’d that come from?”

“Oh, I walked over to the store last night because I was craving x, y, or z.”

The problem is junk food = fat ass. My ass doesn’t need any help, but I would need to sacrifice it to normalize the behavior and pull this cover story off.

The other thing I must do is survey the parking lot for activity to ensure my son wasn’t wandering around. It would also let us chat in a safe spot.

People are lazy. They walk the most direct route from A to B without fail. It might only take a minute, but I’d do it to minimize the risk of my son seeing me in my lover’s car.

Not because I’d worry that he’d see me get out of the car because I’d have an excuse. I would do it because any exposure increases the risk of getting caught. Once it was safe, I’d have my lover drop me off at the front doors and drive away.

No kiss, no lingering, just, “thanks, and see you later,” as I would with any friend. If my son saw that, he’d think nothing of it, if he thought I was there to get my candy fix.

And from now on, when I get dropped off by my lover, this is how it will go down. I’ve learned my lesson.

The takeaway is this — if you are doing something you wouldn’t normally do, you’ll stick out like a sore thumb in a place you wouldn’t normally do it. If you can’t explain why you’re there, you’ll come under suspicion, and if that happens, you’re done.

I failed the other night because I was complacent. Only luck saved me, and when you cheat, you’ll need luck, but if you think it’s all you need, find a new hobby.


Learn more about having a cover story here –A Cover Story Can Hide Cheating In Plain Sight
Adulterous Dating Advicemedium.com


Join my email list — HERE and get a free pdf copy of my ebook —How to Cheat — Field Notes from an Adulteress
Why I wrote a book on cheating.medium.com


© Teresa J. Conway, 2020

By Teresa J Conway on .

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Exported from Medium on April 8, 2021.

Author of How to Cheat: Field Notes from an Adulteress, several short stories, I'm active on Medium @teresajconway where I sometimes share my blog posts, and I'm a fair-weather tweeter @tjconway69.

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